Never saw ma wean's face
Never saw ma wean's hair
Never counted the toes, the fingers 
Never checked it a' wis there
Aye. Ah know, ye telt me afore
Ah never saw ma wean's face so ah don't know whit's it like 
Ah cannae possibly understaun

Ah never saw ma wean's face, ah don't understaun
Aye. Ah know, ye telt me afore

Nae perfect peach cheek tae soothe
Never fed ma wean late in the night
Never put ma wean in ma brother's airms
Never saw ma hard as nails brother turn tae soft whispers a poems
Aye. Ah know, ye telt me afore
Ah never saw ma wean's face so ah don't know whit's it like 
Ah cannae possibly understaun

Ah never saw ma wean's face, ah don't understaun
Aye. Ah know, ye telt me afore

Never tried to get veg in there
Mibbes a wee sausage? 
No even some egg
Ah need to learn that weans need fed 
Aye. Ah know, ye telt me afore
Ah never saw ma wean's face so ah don't know whit's it like 
Ah cannae possibly understaun

Ah never saw ma wean's face, ah don't understaun
Aye. Ah know, ye telt me afore

Never saw ma wean's tears
Never heard ma wean greet
Never helped ma wean up
Never saw that first step
Never heard ma wean say that first word 
Never heard ma wean sing he wis a teapot
Aye. Ah know, ye telt me afore
Ah never saw ma wean's face so ah don't know whit's it like 
Ah cannae possibly understaun

Ah never saw ma wean's face, ah don't understaun
Aye. Ah know, ye telt me afore

Ah never saw ma wean tantrum or howl
Never took ma wean tae his first day at the school
Never had a wee haun push me away
"I'm ah big bhoy noo!"
Never stuck triangle people on the side a ma fridge
Aye. Ah know, ye telt me afore
Ah never saw ma wean's face so ah don't know whit's it like 
Ah cannae possibly understaun

Ah never saw ma wean's face, ah don't understaun
Aye. Ah know, ye telt me afore

Never held nor sang ma wean a song
Never learned ma wean tae read on ma knee
Never learned ma wean tae count on the flair
Never heard ma wean howlin wi the umpteenth skint knee
Never watched ma lassie push her wee pram
Never sat drinking the 30th invisible cuppa fae her teaset
Aye. Ah know, ye telt me afore
Ah never saw ma wean's face so ah don't know whit's it like 
Ah cannae possibly understaun

Ah never saw ma wean's face, ah don't understaun
Aye. Ah know, ye telt me afore

Never watched ma wean wi his invisible pal
Never watched ma wean swing high
Never been the silent tooth fairy at night
Never had a wean sent hame wi report cairds, 
Never found a nit note in the bottom of that bag
Never had a wean bruised in schoolgate fights
Never laid ma wean's present, wrapped up safe, under a tree
Aye. Ah know, ye telt me afore
Ah never saw ma wean's face so ah don't know whit's it like 
Ah cannae possibly understaun

Ah never saw ma wean's face, ah don't understaun
Aye. Ah know, ye telt me afore

Never saw ma wean learn tae swim
Never watched ma boy learn tae cook
Never worried about em being too late
Never worried about Wee Madam Flashy Eyes chewing up ma boy alive
Aye. Ah know, ye telt me afore
Ah never saw ma wean's face so ah don't know whit's it like 
Ah cannae possibly understaun

Ah never saw ma wean's face, ah don't understaun
Aye. Ah know, ye telt me afore

Never saw ma wean storm intae the night
Never saw ma wean dream an reach so high
Never saw ma wean help auld Jimmy up fae the road
Never saw ma boy takin his gram in his airm, and safely hame
Never heard ma boy tell me "That's too heavy, I'll get that fur ye Ma"
Aye. Ah know, ye telt me afore
Ah never saw ma wean's face so ah don't know whit's it like 
Ah cannae possibly understaun

An noo, here ye all are, all lovely and chummy
Groomed and sparklin, ma kind, so moral friends
Ah insisting us wumin, all together must talk all things menopausal 

Yer wanting tae add tae yer Exclusive Wumin's Club noo, noo yer at the last tick a yer clock?
How suddenly, gushingly, Inclusive ye are!
At last! Noo ah hunderstaun? That's Nice.

Ye never asked, nor listened, my kind, so moral friends
Ye'd nae time, nae interest, and never any care
Nae gaps atween the rants a "It's a living hell!", "It's easy for you!", "You don't understand!"
Ye cannae possibly understaun

Ah never saw ma wean's face, ye don't understaun
Aye. Ah know, ye never heard me afore

Ah never saw ma wean's face, and ye'll never understaun
Ah know. Oh aye, ah know!
Ye cannae possibly know

For the last time, I know!
Ye'll never understaun why efter decades a ye, ah cannae bare sight nor sound a ye

Ye'll never understaun